Giving and receiving cycle

Are you a really good giver but not so flash at receiving? Do you find you always give a lot but have terrible trouble asking for help? Even if it is offered to you, you refuse it? Because you’re really capable and you can do it yourself better, quicker and easier!

In my studies of Eastern Philosophy for over a decade now I am constantly learning and being reminded of the cycles of life through what presents in life. I recently read in one of my text books I have not looked at for a while on the chapter of Cycles and Circles: A theory of Relativity Yin and Yang: Yin and Yang are the source of Power and the beginning of everything in creation. Yang ascends to Heaven: yin descends to earth. Hence the universe represents motion and rest, controlled by the wisdom of nature. Nature grants the power to beget and to grow, to harvest and to store, to finish and to begin anew’ Ilza Veith, Nei Ching from the book Between heaven and earth- a guild to Chinese Medicine.

By just noticing the cycles of life that play out in our every day and in fact the cycles of life are seen everywhere and it is also the cycle of giving and receiving the balance and flow of the cycle of life. So think about it in terms of a tree, a tree will stabilise itself with roots down in to the rich soil and gather minerals and nutrients it needs from the earth then it will reach its branches up to the sky and gracefully accept the energy from the sun to help it grow with the help of rain and oxygen it receives. Then as the tree matures it gives back food and shade to plants and animals. This is a graceful cycle of life in its truest flow.

Now take us humans beings (actually we are human doings most of the time but that’s another story all together) we have a cycle of life but sometimes we rudely interrupt that cycle with ego. Now I am not saying ego is evil but I would like to point out it can get in the way of the cycle of life if we allow it to.  When any natural cycle is interrupted it will have a flow on effect usually creating dis-ease. Think about it simply, if tree has no more oxygen then it will not be able to grow if it has not more water it cannot grow and needs to search deeper and stresses the tree or it simply dies.

The giving and receiving cycle is absolutely imperative to our existence, because if we find ourselves stuck it is a good thing to stop as reassess what is playing out in your life. You will find that there is an imbalance of the giving and receiving cycle. This imbalance will affect every part of your life as well as your bank account, relationships, and business it will play out in every area of your life.

Now have a look at every area of your life notice your relationships and how they play out and just observe if you’re giving out too much and not allowing people to give back to you in anyway. It can be as simple as “would you like a hand with that…..” and you say “no, that’s ok, I’ll do it” because you always say no and your superwoman or superman and you would like the world to know this secretly! Allowing or asking or help is difficult for most people who are the control people who love to do everything on their own and they like to be the strong one who is reliable and generally the rock.

However this can become extreme to the point where the people around you feel helpless and can’t help you because you simply won’t allow them and you become angry because you are exhausted! Sound familiar? So here is what you do:

STOP, ASSESS and OBSERVE yourself and others and you will soon see a pattern.  STOP yourself from the auto answer when the opportunity arises and then start to experiment what it feels like to ask or help. ASSESS the situation rationally to see maybe, just maybe you really could do with some help and Lastly OBSERVE yourself and others so that you can recognise how it is your life is playing out on the expectation of self and others.

Remember people need to be needed so people love to help and love to be needed it gives us purpose.  We love to be given an opportunity to assist.  Allow (give yourself permission) to accept gracefully. Be mindful of the self-dialog (beating yourself up).  If you would love the help, then take it! you will find you are able to give someone the joy of giving. Bravo you got over yourself! Don’t worry I had to get over myself too!

It’s also an opportunity for people to connect, so the more you say “no thanks I’ll be right”, the more you are cutting off the opportunity to connect with someone. (Being it is appropriate).

In the future just remember people need to be needed so allow someone to help you, even if you think you can do it better or quicker, observe the joy of giving someone the gift of giving and notice how you receive.

SMALL TIP: when you receive, always receive a gift with gratitude no matter how small or even undesired, and observe don’t judge.  When you give, notice how great you feel.  Giving is easy and remember to allow someone to do the same for you because after all no matter how you look at it….it’s all ways about you, we only really do things because it makes us feel good, and feel wanted and loved! It may be the hardest thing you ever do, but also it might be an adventure to feel and observe something new.

Wishing you Soul Deep Adventures. I would like to leave you with a little quote from my favourite aviatrix:  “adventure is worthwhile in itself” Amelia Earheart

By Linda McCall Dip. Shiatsu and Oriental Therapies, Master NLP Coach, Hypnotherapist and Time Line Therapist

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